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| My unrequited cyber-love
http://girl-smileyy.xanga.com/profile/
Not to be all creepy.. and just look at the mutherfuckers subcribing and reading this chick's blog. This person's view on attractive people was the subject of a previous blog. As you can see howmever.. she's fucking gorgeous.. or whatever chick's pictures she steals or friend poses for her.. j/k, Xcept about the gorgeous part.
She's actually pretty cool. We've had limited cyber contact. That's one of things I really fucking hate about the internet. You.. by sheer fucking happenstance.. come across people that in ways you may not even realize it at the time, impact your life in some seemingly miniscule way at the moment. Then you get to know them a little bit.. find out they're kinda cute.. and then you're just frustrated as hell.
It's not that I have a problem attracting cute girls or doing seX-type stuff with them.. but I'd really love to meet someone that I can have a sexual relationship AND an actual relationship. Someone that I actually enjoy spending time with outside of the seX-type stuff.
The interweb only adds to my frustration.
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| Kobi Ashi MaruWell kids.. a while back I posted a blog on the "No Win" Scenario. How did I fare? Well, I suppose that's all objective now isn't it? To say that the relationship worked out may be considered a win. To say that you successfully removed a cancerous tumor from your life could also be considered a win as well. Sadly, we'll have to go with the latter statement if we are to consider it a win.
My life in general seems to be only full of chaos and heartbreak.
There's nothing I can write that will not be cliche or something that you haven't heard before or that someone will not try to psycho-analyze and tell me where I might have gone wrong. Life is full of misfires and disappointments. It never gets easier.. it never stops hurting any less.. you just get used to the pain.
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| I AM The "Sinister" Mr.XI'm not sure why I write these blogs. I'm no personality whore/slut by any means and certainly no one is reading these.. makes me wonder though.. the people that blather on about their daily routine.. and I do mean ROUTINE.. what makes them of special interest? Popular with tons of friends before hand? What.. dunno.. fucked up. Maybe it's a stream of consciousness. I am an internet terrorist. I am a wallflower. I am charismatic. I lack personality. I am shy. I am rude and conceited. I stand out in the crowd by not standing in it. I bleed sweat. I sweat tears. I cry blood.
But I do know "someone" is watching. Always.. stealing my words.. my personality.. my SCREENNAME!!
There is only one The "Sinister" Mr.X. I've seen your MySpace page and your punk rock forum. Likely you know me from SciFi.com or the IMDB. The "Sinister" Mr.X doesn't have children. Doesn't listen to punk rock or use pictures of Jason Alexander on their profile. The "Sinister" Mr.X is an awesome you don't understand and can never be.
I am ridiculed. I am reveered. I am spat upon. I am imitated. I am analyzed. I am an enigma. To know me is to hate me. To know me is to get burned.
Don't cross me.. and if you do.. you better not cross my path. You are a callous dipshit snagging onto a greatness you know nothing of. Your stolen name has no meaning.
I.. AM.. The "Sinister" Mr.X.
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| X=?"How do I feel? There's a man out there right now who I haven't seen in 15 years who wants to kill me and you show me a son who'd be happy to help him.. how do I feel?" That may not be the exact quote, but that was Captain Kirk's response to a question of state of mind in Star Trek II the Wrath of Khan when they were seemingly trapped and abandoned in an isolated cavern inside an asteroid.
Those aren't my Xact problems.. but that's how I feel. Not trapped between a rock and hard place.. but trapped inside a rock, which is a hard place, with a vindictive madman who blames me for the death of his wife and abandoning him and a son who will glady help off me and no way out.
I like to tell myself I don't believe in the "no-win scenario".. but I suppose I've never really faced it.. not like this.. but I'm gonna try.
ThanX, Captain Kirk.
-Sam
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| my spaceThat's right mutherfuckers.. tired of pussy-footin' around on Xanga. Xanga mutherfucker's aren't appreciatin'.. they're not even hatin'.. time to spread my vitroil elsewheres..
http://www.myspace.com/samanthicatotalous
-X
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